According to click bait everywhere, there’s a lot out there you can supposedly get addicted to. For sure there are actual addicts addicted to actual things, like, oh, say, drugs, which makes headlines like Can You Get “Addicted” to Your Vibrator? kind of offensive, but also funny. Should we really be throwing this term about so loosely about stuff that clearly is not an issue? Also, vibrator addiction borders on slut shaming. And we don’t like slut shaming at all. Here are two things you absolutely cannot get addicted to, no matter what the headlines say, plus two things we suggest getting addicted to immediately.
That vibrator headline is from Glamour magazine. The story was about how if you use your vibrator too much you could have issues orgasming without it, like during sex with a partner. And then you risk deferring to the vibrator, since you want to orgasm. Despite the fact that most partners don’t mind throwing a toy into the mix to create some fun, Glamour asked around about vibrator addiction. No shocker here: turns out you can’t actually get addicted to a vibrator, which anyone with a brain already knows. Though if things are getting numb, you might want to back off for a moment.
Best quote from the piece: “[S]ome women (a small minority) say their vaginas feel desensitized after too much vibe use. If this happens to you…tak[e] a break for a few days—that should do the trick.”
Tales of masturbation abuse are as old as time! You’ll go blind! You’ll grow hair on your palms! This Slate article, Are Women Who Masturbate Hopeless Addicts on the Road to Ruin?, is a breath of fresh air. The writer debunks the myth and goes a step further, tackling the idea of sex addiction, a concept she says “primarily gets tossed around in service of old-fashioned prudery and the desires of authority to control human sexuality.”
Best thought from the piece: “Sexuality is more like a muscle, and if you don't use it, you lose it. One reason many women have trouble orgasming in a sexual relationship is they don't masturbate enough, and they have trouble knowing what works and what doesn't.”
Still, if you’re looking for an addiction, or if you’re a writer looking for an addiction story that would be awesome click bait, we have two suggestions:
We dream of a world where people get overly attached to protecting their bodies by using condoms every single time they have sex. In reality, safe sex and condom use is falling. It’s time to get it up.
What’s a better headline than, Help! I’m Addicted to Lube? But really, it is possible. Once you start using lube, it’s tricky to go back. It’s that good. Is this an addiction? Is this an unhealthy attachment? Or is it just plain slippery good fun? There are so many reasons to use lube, so this is one obsession we’re happy to let slide.