Here’s a shocking statistic for you: research shows that about half of men report orgasming in two minutes or less. That’s pretty wild, considering how most men like to brag about “lasting for hours,” and most women need significantly longer than that to even reach a point of intense arousal. According to statistics provided by Lovehoney, a British sex toy retailer, the average sexual session is about 19 minutes long, 10 if you don’t count foreplay. If that kind of timing isn’t doing it for you in the bedroom, here are a few ways to try to up the stamina of your partner(s).
First, check with your dude about the last time he came. If he’s not masturbating before you hop into bed together, his chances of lasting more than a couple minutes are relatively slim. Popping one off an hour or two before sex makes it much more difficult for men to come in the act, and allows you both the time to slowly build the intensity between you, working into a rhythm that works for all involved.
If you’ve been with a partner for a significant amount of time, sometimes the monotony of predictable sexual routines can lead to something akin to muscle memory, triggering ejaculation at the same time due to similar cues. Try changing up positions and going for something different than your normal bang sesh. Basically, you have to confuse the penis into cooperating with your timing. The motto? Ya snooze, ya lose; ya confuse, ya win.
Get edgy! Edging, or the practice of pausing sexual activity for a minute or two just before an orgasm, is an art and definitely takes practice; however, it can be an essential tool in the crusade for more satisfying sex. Have your partner let you know as he’s approaching orgasm, and then put everything on hold for a minute, allowing you both to slowly build your way back to the brink of orgasm. This will not only increase the intensity of the orgasm-to-come (lol), but it will buy you some time to continue on your path to glory, too.
Perpendicular positions can sometimes put less pressure on sensitive parts of the penis, allowing him to last longer. Either spoon one another, or face each other, and glide back and forth along the top of the shaft, an act that is sure to be enjoyable for both of you but not too titillating that he loses it.
Have him do kegels! You’re not the only one who can benefit from some pelvic floor exercises; dudes can and should do kegels, yoga, and pilates, which all help to strengthen muscles that allow us to control our orgasms with more efficiency.
Ultimately, everyone has different needs and preferences when it comes to sexual activity, and some women may be perfectly happy with a two-minute long bang session. For others who are, err, in it for the long haul, however, there are plenty of tips and tricks to try to ensure that both partners are fully satisfied.
Written by Emma Glassman-Hughes