We all want the fireworks that we see in the sky to be magically recreated in bed (though not literally, because that sounds dangerous), but oftentimes in relationships and flirtations, we get stuck in a romantic rut. And while this year, you may be feeling less than patriotic due to a certain Cheeto-in-Chief, that doesn’t mean that your July 4 (and the rest of the month) can’t be jumpin’ jumpin’. Whether the sparks aren’t catching or the fire has gone out, here are a few ways to spice up this month full of fireworks, and make your hearts (and your other parts) go “boom” this July.
Try a new sex position
- Sex is sweaty business, and sex in the summertime is even sweatier business. This July, turn up the heat with a new move that won’t have you wheezing--as sexy as wheezing is. For heterosexual couples, missionary is a classic, relatively low-demand position that can get the job done without leaving either of you huffing and puffing, or absolutely drenched in sweat--but sometimes, it’s just plain boring. Spice up your missionary with The “CAT”, or Coital Alignment Technique, which has you both starting in missionary, but has your dude shift his body up and over you. Once there, have him try rocking back and forth (this can be gentle or more intense, depending on your preferences) instead of thrusting in an up-and-down motion. This helps him stay aligned with your clitoris better, which obviously leads to more pleasure for you. Kaboom.
Go for a romantic outing or getaway
- It’s been said before, but sometimes the thrill of being somewhere new can ignite the flame that may be waning in a relationship. A road trip (as long as a cross-country trek or as short as a jaunt to a new beach) can be the perfect way to remind one another how fun your relationship can be. Any kind of adventure that y’all can find together has the potential to lead to some lasting memories, which go a long way in reigniting a relationship--and maybe you’ll even carry that sense of adventure with you into the bedroom!
Introduce a sex toy into the mix
- Because of the stigma surrounding sex toys or the assumption that the use of one during sex means that someone isn’t able to satisfy someone else on their own, introducing a sex toy into your regular sex life can sometimes be a hard decision to make, or lead to a hard conversation to have. However, if you’re able to talk to one another and have a productive chat about the benefits of sex toys in partner play, this is an excellent way to heat up your sex life and lead to stronger and longer clitoral orgasms. Start small and try a vibrator like this one from Dame, and potentially work your way up to other, more complicated toys if you’re into it.
Experiment with your erogenous zones to find where each of your hot spots are
- The intensity of erogenous zones can vary for everyone, so make sure that you and your romantic partner(s) are clued in about what feels best for each person. You could maybe even turn this into a game where you try to find the other person’s most sensitive spots before they can find yours? Who’s to say! Summer is the season of fun!
Use an ice cube during foreplay
- It goes against basic physics, but in this case, you may want to cool down to heat up--heat up your relationship, that is. Using an ice cube during foreplay might just be the most cliché Cosmo-esque sex tip in the business, but for some people, it’s a real game-changer. And if nothing else, the cold cubes will feel nice in the summer heat, and it will be a silly and fun thing for you and your partner(s) to try together. Here are some techniques from the folks at Bustle.
Written by Emma Glassman-Hughes