Can we please just stop it with the number thing already?
Think of this as a call to arms. Are you in the mood, into someone, and want to get it on? Get it on already. Please do not give into any noise in your head about too many partners, or needing to wait until you know the person’s grandmother’s name, hometown, and favorite food, or any nonsense slut shaming of any sort. Get on top of your own desire, your own path.
Worried your date won’t want more dates if you jump in bed right away? Maybe you should be looking for someone as in touch with his or her own desire as you are. Why would anyone hold you wanting him or her right away against you? That makes no sense whatsoever. Who doesn’t want to be wanted? Just saying.
Also? If you’re someone who needs love and understanding to orgasm, own that. You should of course feel no pressure to have sex before you want to. Want to get tested before you slip between the sheets? Go you. Think partners should earn the right to enter? Rock on. But it’s high time we all agree that there’s just no looking down on your fellow sisters who can and want to get off with more than a few misters. To each her own.
But—and this is a big, whopping, huge but—you HAVE TO BE SAFE. There’s just no way around that. STDs are on the rise. Dealing with an unwanted pregnancy is no joke, and potentially life altering. There’s just no gray area when it comes to safety. What if we all collectively focused as much on safe sex as we all seem to do on the number of sexual partners women should and should not have? That would be a whole lot of safe sex.
So here’s to getting your groove on, ignoring news articles about how many partners is “normal” to have, following your lust, not suppressing desire because of some societal chains and concepts, and generally doing whatever you want to do with the amazing body you’ve got. It’s an instrument. Use it. Just make sure to wrap it up. Every which way. Every single time.
Rant over. Have fun out there.