If you’ve ever felt stressed before, you know it’s not a good feeling. To make things even more stressful, chronic stress can be a real health hazard. It can have a negative effect on your mood, immune system, and even your ability to conceive. Orgasms help relieve stress, but in nature’s lamest catch-22, chronic stress can even negatively affect sex drive. 😒

Between work, school, family, and a nonstop 24-hour news cycle where our access to reproductive healthcare and sexual autonomy are consistently being threatened (Hi Brett Kavanaugh!) stress is an inevitable part of life. So we asked our Sustain community to anonymously share what helps them tune-out everyday tensions and get turned on.

“Schedule a 3 hour sex date so that we make it a priority. It can be difficult for me to come into a receiving energy from being stressed, so sometimes we will start with a pillow fight or wrestling like animals. Seriously. Try it 🙂”

“Especially during times of stress, it's important to set aside some date time, and I mean REAL date time, not "order pizza and watch Netflix." I always feel a rejuvenated sense of love with my partner after we've gone out and had a little fun, talked about life in a casual, neutral environment, and had some fun together. Massages are also a really big fav of mine. Whenever I'm too stressed and am sensing a lack of intimacy on my part with my partner, I ask for a little 15 minute massage.”

“Showering and weed”. 

“Music is a huge thing for both my partner and I, individually. And we share that passion. So often, when we’re feeling in a rut, we turn on our sex playlist we’ve built over the past two years.”

“I have had a lot come down on me lately in my life and my husband (we just got married this past weekend) has done everything he can to make it easier or more fun! We have done little trips and gotten cheap hotel rooms! We are long distance and drove halfway to see each other and got it on in the cheapest hotel there was 😂 also, we just visited our first sex store together the other day! We are newly married and still experimenting with each other! I love when he just kisses me everywhere and tickles me in all the right spots to tease me! Definitely helps with everything going on to know I'm still wanted and loved.”

“I for some reason love to “deceive” him when I ask if he wants to take a nap with me 😏😏😏 He totally knows we rarely just nap lol so for whatever reason just feeling super comfy and snuggly in bed as if we were to allow ourselves to fall asleep and nap, has worked out really well in putting me in the mood when I’m extra stressed. My body has to feel total comfort in bed and then we find ourselves both getting a little “handsy” with each other... another great tip is Snapchat funny/sexy pics and or nudes throughout the day. Humor helps quiet the racing thoughts i get when I am stressed and anxious and my boyfriend is great at making me laugh but I also love making him laugh too with funny pics to send him throughout the day and soon enough they’ll start going from funny to sexy in a playful way. Let’s him know he better be ready for me when he sees me later!” 😉

“Go really slow, start with things like just cuddling to feel better, then back-rubs, then maybe some PG making out, then move things to more and more from there! Being close during all the PG stuff makes me want to be closer and get rated R! If it doesn’t, then obviously it’s not the right time!”

“My husband and I really like whisky or bourbon. If we’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, we just pour a glass and sit on our deck and talk. That usually helps us to relax, come back together, and connect. Then we go from there 😏”

“Cuddling up while watching Netflix or YouTube together. One of us normally will make a move after a while of being super comfortable and relaxed. Cuddles and ambiguous touching can lead to some fun!”

We hope that helps give you some good ideas as you are gearing up for the weekend! And remember, if you are planning on having sex, play safe and stress-free with condoms. 💖


Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

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