In the past, you told us what your favorite sex position is. However, we realized the way we phrased this question might have excluded some of the best, non-penetrative ways to reach orgasm. So in honor of our orgasm campaign, we asked our Sustain community on Instagram what their favorite way to reach orgasm is, and surprise! The two most popular answers don’t involve penetrative sex at all.
When it comes to sexual desire, every person is unique. We received a wide variety of super specific answers to this prompt, ranging from having an emotional connection with their partner, to being on camera during sex, to reaching climax while watching... Aquaman (many types of seafood are aphrodisiacs, after all).
However, the most popular response was: 👅Oral Sex. We can only speculate why this is, but one reason could be because oral sex is so intimate. Women are taught from an early age to internalize a lot of shame about the way their vaginas look and smell, so there is something extremely sexy about someone wanting to get up close and personal with your vulva. Oral sex also allows for lots of clit stimulation with the added bonus of natural lubrication from saliva.
Wondering how to have the best oral sex ever? If you and your partner are both on board, here are a few helpful tips you can share with them:
- Start slowly and gently by just-barely licking their stomach and inner thighs. This sort of gentle teasing will help get their body aroused.
- Ramp up to full speed slowly, and don’t worry about if it is taking a long time. The average woman takes up to 20 minutes to reach climax.
- If you are both comfortable, try a combination of fingers and oral. That way they can stimulate the clit and g-spot simultaneously.
And that’s just the beginning. There are so many different ways to get creative with oral sex. You and your partner can pleasure each other simultaneously in the 69 position, you can try incorporating a vibrator into the mix, and you don’t always have to experience oral sex lying on your back! Try oral sex in the doggy style position, with a pillow underneath your back, or on your side.
Besides oral sex, the next most popular response was clit stimulation. Maybe this is why only 39% of respondents said they reach orgasm every time they have sex. Our culture conditions us to think of sex as beginning and ending with penetration, but penetration alone doesn’t necessarily make for great sex, as most vulva-havers require clit stimulation to reach orgasm.
Perhaps if we started redefining “sex” to encompass all different types of sexual expression, including foreplay, oral, and more, we could come closer to reaching orgasm equality in the bedroom.
To help out, join our campaign to end the pleasure gap and donate money towards sex-positive sex ed in the US.
And as always, remember to play safe!